I am definitely addicted to social media. I look to these platform for laughs, work and to learn because you guys are seriously smart creatures. You know what else you are? Triggering! In fact some of your social media posts should come with the trigger warning. So, what has my knickers in a bunch so early in the year? Assertions like; “Ya’ll have kids out of wedlock and we must feel sorry for you dealing with absent parents.” or “I will only have kids when I get married-I never want to find myself a single parent.” Listen!.. First of all LOL! Who do you think spends their formative years hoping to have a child with a person who is clearly inconsiderate and messy? Relationships end, for whatever reason. You know what doesn’t end? Parenting!..so smart. Before you fix your thumbs to type and disturb where there is already no peace consider this;
There are people who regardless of what is left behind cut their losses. One would imagine people like this show signs in the relationship that when they leave they’d never come back. Even if they did show signs, one would also think they may feel nothing leaving you - but they would feel responsibility towards that spawn…but they don’t. The parent left behind needs to work twice as hard to affirm the child who feels left. Even more messy are people who assume that this grown ass person who left without looking back is interested in even making provisions for their child. Marriage does NOT remedy this scenario at all!
There are people who are much like yo-yos. They never go and they never stay. Their contribution cannot be counted on because they have no clue what consistency is. The child attaches to them not only for them to be gone tomorrow. As a “co-parent” you make plans and outline financial and time allocation only for them to ghost at the earliest inconvenience. Their retort is “I have the right to be with my child.” This type also thinks parenting is babysitting and that their involvement is a favour to you…you should be so grateful. This one is the sort who is likely to not show up in January because… well December happened.
The mystery to end all is one that is of two people under one roof, still one feels no sense of responsibility when it comes to parenting. They may be involve financially and still have absolutely no parental considerations. Sure there are family portraits with matching outfits. The little people however are confronted with an absent parent who shows total disinterest in their growing up. Some of you thumb terrorist have grown up in households like this.
As a mother of two human being (one would have thought I would learnt the first time) by two different father- my co-parenting experiences are totally different. One is very much aided by the involvement of the paternal grandparents to function far better. No part of me wanted those relationship to last longer than they did, what I needed was decent co-parenting. I have had many moments where I wanted to with draw myself and my little people and declare their fathers dead. I found myself in a position where I had to make my reasoning purely about my kids even when the situation affected me terribly. Now that you know better I hope you’ll post better. YOU ALWAYS TALK SMACK ABOUT THE PARENT THAT STAYS! Kids do that do but they are growing and learning, what’s your excuse?
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